People say that love is cold, hurtful, unconditional, bitter all at once. However, the truth is, love really is just a basic need in everybody s life to be accepted and treated with dignity. Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally to live a healthy and proper life. Love has many definitions. Ask somebody today what they think love is and they may give you their definition of love. However, I can only define love as feeling the emotional bond between two people – the one who love you and the one you love.
The second emotion that is essential to any relationship to make it last is romantic love. Romantic love occurs when you feel like doing something because your partner likes it. You feel like heroically rescuing them, which results in getting their love and approval. In a relationship, you feel like doing a lot of things that are romantic and significant to your partner which results in getting their love, support, affection, acceptance, friendship, etc.
While lust is based on hormones in the brain that occur naturally, romance is based on brain chemistry and other factors. The brain releases chemicals in the brain that create desire. Lust is the desire for something that is not available and the brain gets turned on. Romantic love is similar to this except that you do not have to get aroused by anything.
Hormones that are released during a mating session are responsible for creating an association between the person you are romantically engaged with and feelings of satisfaction, love, affection, adoration, desire, attraction and so on. Once you fall in love with a person, the hormones that are created during this time cause the levels of oxytocin in the brain to rise and this causes the body to produce more of this chemical than usual. The more the body produces oxytocin, the more attachment there will be between the two of you and the stronger the feeling of love, trust, safety, and bonding there will be.
However, the situation with love and lust is very different as it is totally dependent on the actions of the individual. The level of hormones that are released are much higher when one falls in love, especially compared to when they are engaging in a casual relationship. Also, the connection that is formed between the brain and the body during this time is much stronger as well. All of these differences result in a lot of confusion in the mind of a man who is trying to figure out how to make his girlfriend love him more.
The difference between love and lust comes from how the brain interacts with dopamine and oxytocin. When you are in love, the brain believes that it has received the necessary stimulus it needs to produce its own chemicals, namely oxytocin and dopamine. This is why people who fall in love feel good. However, once the relationship ends or the physical part of it is over, these same chemicals are produced again and the feelings of goodness and attraction dissipate because no longer is the individual receiving the chemicals it needs. This is where the problem lies and understanding the role of the brain during this time becomes very important.