Scientists, sociologists and just about every other field have studied what makes the heart go pitter-patter – but love is still a mystery. Sure, researchers can explain how certain physical and social factors increase one’s chances of falling in love, but true, lasting love cannot be boiled down to one formula or emotion.
Some scientists believe that the magic of love is in our brains, and that when we feel it, it’s a combination of chemical reactions in the brain that make you light up around your crush or best friend, or even that parent-child bond. But is that all there is to it? If that’s the case, it would suggest that you have as much control over when you fall in love as you do over whether you accidentally fall into a hole.
If you want to know if you are in love, look for a person who takes up significant real estate in your thoughts, or as Match’s chief scientific advisor, Helen Fisher explains, “you lust after them.” This stage is characterized by a rush of adrenaline and a jumble of chemicals that can cause your cheeks to flush and palms to sweat, as well as feelings of euphoria and excitement.
Then, as the relationship progresses, you may transition to the next stage, which involves yearning for the person in a more long-term way, and is accompanied by thoughts of them all day and night. This is often more difficult, but also brings a deep satisfaction that no other feeling can match.