Love is an emotion that comes in many forms—the bond with family, the camaraderie of friends and the butterflies of romantic feelings. It enriches our lives and can be a source of happiness, but it also needs care and understanding to flourish. For millennia, philosophers and prophets have pondered and theorized about love, but scientists have been less comfortable studying it explicitly.
But in recent decades, researchers have developed a whole field that explicitly studies relationships and their impact on individual well-being. They have a variety of tools to do this, from measuring how people feel about their partners to functional MRI studies that show when the brain is activated by romantic love.
A growing body of research shows that when people love one another, they experience positive emotions and biobehavioral synchrony, which are the foundations for good relationships. They are more likely to support the health and well-being of their partners, and they are also more resilient in the face of conflict.
But what does this mean in practice? For example, some of us may love someone enough to stay with them even when they engage in self-destructive behavior. This is called “committed love,” and it demonstrates both the desire to help them move toward healthier patterns of behavior and the delight in that person as a creation of God. To cultivate that kind of love, we can work to become more attuned to each other’s thoughts, emotions and experiences by asking thoughtful questions, actively listening, and remembering details about their lives.