Is Love a Feeling Or a Choice?

Love is a feeling and an emotion that encompasses deep affection and attachment. It involves a complex blend of feelings, physical sensations and behavioral expressions that can range from ecstasy to despair. It can also be irrational and even dangerous, but when it is well-directed, it can result in true happiness and enduring relationships.

Many people think of romantic love when they hear the word “love,” but there are actually many different types of love. Consider the love you feel for your parents, siblings or friends – all of which are a form of love. Or the love you have for your pets, who are often considered to be family members.

Another way to look at the idea of love is through the lens of faith. In Christianity, love is described as the desire to will the good of others and to help them become good. This explains why Christians are willing to stay committed to people who may seem difficult to love, like someone caught in a destructive pattern of behavior.

The question about whether love is a feeling or a choice is interesting because it can affect the way we interact with one another. If we understand love as a feeling, it is easy to think that it is over when those euphoric feelings subside or are interrupted by life events like a move or misunderstandings. But if we understand it as a choice, then we can work to sustain our love through challenges by enacting loving values and standards like empathy, vulnerability, respect, honesty and, according to contemporary philosopher J. David Velleman, celebrating a person for who they are rather than what we want them to be.