The word “love” is used often, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to everyone. The love of a partner, the love of a friend or the love of food can all feel very different. Love is a powerful emotion that can enrich our lives and bring us joy, but it’s also important to remember that it takes work to make it last. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of “romantic love,” but true love is more than just a fleeting feeling. It involves a deep bond, providing support during tough times and requires a lot of care to thrive.
Psychologist and author of Love 2.0, Barbara Fredrickson, describes love as an experience that swells your awareness, expands your sense of self and your ability to see others. She also points out that this kind of love is different from the lust that comes with attraction. “You can have a very strong desire for someone and still not be in love,” she says.
One study found that people’s brains respond differently to feelings of love and lust, with the former associated with a greater activation in reward centers. In a romantic relationship, this could mean you want to spend more time with your partner, have thoughts of them all day or even fantasize about them when you’re not with them.
But loving someone is more than just wanting to be around them. It’s about caring for them, being selfless, and valuing their happiness as much as you value your own. And it’s about giving yourself the space to take care of yourself, too.