For millennia, philosophers, prophets, and poets have wondered about the nature of love. Today, scientists have a clearer picture of what’s going on in your brain when you fall in love—but it still isn’t easy to pin down.
When you fall in love, areas of your brain associated with reward and pleasure get flooded by dopamine and other neurotransmitters. That’s why the early stages of falling in love can feel so exhilarating and addictive. When you can’t stop thinking about your partner or daydreaming about the future, those are signs that your brain is in love, Kang says.
In addition to the physical and emotional highs, the euphoria of falling in love may help reduce blood pressure and decrease pain signals in your body, according to research. But over time, the obsession and attachment that accompany love can also lead to “problematic behaviors” like jealousy and envy, and can have a negative impact on relationships.
For evolutionary biologists, the concept of love has three components: lust, attraction, and attachment. These are mediated by hormones such as testosterone and estrogen, the organic compound dopamine, and the neurotransmitters norepinephrine and serotonin.
But that’s not the whole picture. For some people, a spiritual or religious understanding of love includes a sense of responsibility and duty, or even a moral obligation to care for another person. Others may view it as a way of cultivating humility, or even as a form of self-denial that entails sacrifice and suffering. Still others may believe that loving another requires surrender—a belief that you’re worthy of being loved in return.