Throughout history, religion, philosophy and science have tried to explain this mysterious feeling. Some psychologists see it as a complex emotion; others think it’s more of a mammalian drive, like hunger or thirst.
When we love someone, key brain regions light up, and a jumble of chemicals, including dopamine (pleasure), adrenaline (fight or flight) and norepinephrine (alertness) flood the brain. These hormones trigger feelings of euphoria and yearning that can make us feel addicted to our loved ones. When we fall in love, the ventral tegmental area of our brains becomes highly activated. It’s the same part of the brain that gets turned on when we’re a bit high or drunk.
Then, oxytocin floods the brain, creating that “cuddle” feeling of affection and attachment. It’s what makes your cheeks flush and palms sweat when you see your boyfriend or girlfriend. Oxytocin is also what helps you feel close to them when they’re not around, and makes it easier for you to trust them with your secrets.
Then, as time passes, your oxytocin levels decrease and your brain switches to a more analytical mode. You may experience intense emotions that make you feel passionate and irrational, or you might go through periods of doubt or jealousy. But if you can hang in there through the highs and lows, then you know that what you have is love.